Lots of people still forward jokes to me via email, but today my buddy Randy sent one worthy of passing on...
From: Randy
Subject: Montana
Jeff Foxworthy on Montana
- If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Butte is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Montana.
- If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Montana.
- If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Montana.
- If your brother's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Montana.
- If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Montana.
- If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Montana.
- If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Montana.
You Know You Are A True Montanan When:
- "Vacation" means going east or west on I-90 for the weekend.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
- You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
- You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
- You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
- Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
- You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
- Down South to you means Wyoming or Idaho.
- A brat is something you eat.
- Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
- You go out to a tail gate party every other Friday.
- Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to snow.
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your lawn mower.
- You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
- You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Montana friends.
Just for the record, I have no idea if Jeff Foxworthy actually wrote these jokes. But either way, they're funny as heck.
tags: montana, humor, foxworthy